There are few moments in life more difficult than hearing that someone has lost a loved one.
The weight of their grief can feel so heavy that words seem inadequate. What could possibly be said to ease that sort of pain? The truth is, no words can take away loss - but the right ones can offer comfort, warmth and connection when it’s needed most.
At We Are The Helpful, we believe in showing up with kindness, presence and the kind of support that truly makes a difference. So if you’re struggling with what to say when someone dies, here are a few gentle ways to offer your love and support.
1. Keep It Simple and Heartfelt
You don’t need the perfect words, you just need sincerity. A simple “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “I’m here for you” can mean the world. Acknowledging their grief without trying to fix it or tell them what they should be doing is one of the most powerful things you can do.
2. Share a Memory
If you knew the person who passed away, sharing a small memory or reflection can bring comfort. Something like “I’ll always remember how your dad made everyone laugh” or “Your sister had such a kind heart - she made everyone feel welcome” helps keep their loved one’s presence alive.
3. Offer Support Without Pressure
Grief is overwhelming, and sometimes even answering “Let me know if you need anything” can feel like too much. Instead, offer specific help:
- “I’d love to drop off a meal this week - what night would work best?”
- “I’m free on Tuesday to pick up the kids or run any errands - just say the word.”
- “I know things must feel heavy right now. How about a walk or a coffee when you’re ready?” or, “I’m going to be walking on Tuesday mornings around your neighborhood, you’re so welcome to join me”.
4. Hold Space for Their Feelings
Everyone grieves differently. Some people want to talk, others need quiet support. Instead of trying to find the right thing to say, sometimes just listening is enough. A simple “How are you feeling today?” or “I’m here whenever you want to talk” reminds them they’re not alone.
5. Avoid Clichés and Fix-It Phrases
Even with the best intentions, certain phrases can feel dismissive or unhelpful, like:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“At least they lived a long life.”
“They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
Grief isn’t something to be solved - it’s something to be supported. Instead of looking for silver linings, simply acknowledge their pain and be there with them in it.
6. Keep Checking In
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. After the funeral, after the messages slow down, after life starts moving forward for everyone else, your continued presence will mean everything. A simple text - Thinking of you today”, “How are you holding up?”, or “I’m still here if you ever need to talk” - reminds them that their loss isn’t forgotten.
7. Offer Distraction and Lightness
Sometimes, grief is too heavy to put into words. It also becomes a constant visitor - one that has now permanently moved in and is forcing the griever to learn to live with its constant presence. And sometimes what someone really needs is a moment of relief. So offering a distraction - whether it’s a funny memory, a movie night, or just talking about something completely unrelated - can be a gift in itself. A simple “I saw something today that made me laugh and thought of you” or an invitation to do something lighthearted can help provide a small but meaningful break from the weight of loss. It’s not about ignoring grief but allowing space for moments of respite. No deep talk required - just a gesture to let them know you're with them.
Showing Up Matters More than the Words
At the heart of it all, it’s not about saying the perfect thing (because that doesn’t exist), it’s about being there. Whether it’s through a kind message, a thoughtful action, or a comforting gift, showing up with love and care makes all the difference.
If you want to offer something tangible alongside your words, our Grief & Loss gift edit is designed to bring comfort when it’s needed most. Thoughtfully curated with nourishment, self-care, and gentle support, it’s a way to say, “I see you, I’m here, and I care.”
Because in life’s hardest moments, the smallest gestures of kindness can mean everything.
Who We Are
At We Are The Helpful, we believe that the most meaningful gifts go beyond just things - they offer care, comfort, and connection. Our grief and loss gifting philosophy is rooted in the idea that true support comes in many forms: a moment of nourishment, a touch of self-care, or a thoughtful gesture that says, “You are not alone.”
Our carefully curated Grief & Loss Gift gift edit is designed to provide real, practical comfort - whether it’s a warm drink, a quiet moment of reflection, or a little help with everyday life. When words feel impossible, these gifts help show up for the people you love in ways that truly matter.
